Updated: Tuesday, 18th September 2018 @ 4:23pm

Zayn Malik's nuclear shelter, BBC 'betterness' and doggie dining: MM's roundup of today's best April Fools

Zayn Malik's nuclear shelter, BBC 'betterness' and doggie dining: MM's roundup of today's best April Fools

| By Rosaleen Fenton

It's the one day of the year when you're never too sure what's real and what isn't, as stories from the surreal to the shocking make front pages.

From Zayn Malik's nuclear bunker to newly-uncovered evidence showing that famous '66 World Cup win might not be so definite - here's MM's picks of the best from today.

 

1 Manchester’s National Football Museum has found proof that the World Cup final ball from England’s 1966 victory didn’t cross the line.

The ball has been sent the to Germany’s National Football Museum after staff found a ‘previously unnoticed’ chalk mark on the ball; proving that it never crossed the line.

Kevin Haygarth, Head of Sales and Marketing at the National Football Museum in Manchester said: “We are glad that we’ve been able to finally settle this almost 50-year-old debate – possibly the biggest and most contentious goal ever scored in professional football.

Herr Wolfgang Aprilscherz, spokesman for the German DFB Museum in Dortmand, which is due to open in summer 2015, said: “We are very happy to have such an important exhibit and delighted that the argument about Geoff Hurst’s goal has finally been settled.

“The ball didn’t cross the line – we have the proof in this chalk mark. And now the ball is in its rightful place on display in Germany.”

 

2 The BBC are looking for a ‘Director of Better’ who will ‘set the dial’ for the Corporation by ‘placing the idea of betterness at its core’.

The role will offer one lucky individual ‘an opportunity to re-set the dial for the corporation either by shining a new light on that dial or by shining the old light but with a new bulb so that no one can be in any doubt about where the dial is or can have any excuse for not being able to read what it says’.

Fans of corporate blue sky thinking who want to give 110% should apply:

 

The University of Manchester is installing trampolines across the campus in a bid to cut exam stress for students.

Stressed out students can now bounce their way to relaxation before exam season begins:

 

4 The Radio Times have exclusively revealed that Ant and Dec are to become a trio called Ant and Dec and Anton Du Beke.

The Strictly star will always stand on Ant and Dec’s left to ensure that viewers ‘do not become confused’.

The article claims that the superstar initially wanted higher billing but “'Ant and Anton Du Beke and Dec' did not have quite the same ring to it.”

 

5 This prank at Cambridge University reminds us all that you can be considered one of the best minds in the world yet still fall for a simple trick:

 

6 Twitter account @Mancmade are claiming that Zayn Malik, former One Direction superstar, has bought a nuclear shelter in Manchester to escape the press ‘fallout’:

 

7 The Sun have upset a lot of football fans on Twitter by claiming Paul Pogba has agreed to re-join Manchester United in the second highest transfer deal ever:

8 And following the sports theme, the Metro have claimed that Usain Bolt is joining Manchester United.

But the claim isn’t as ridiculous as others made today. Bolt told the Daily Mail in July 2014 that it was a ‘big dream’.

Being his usual modest self, he told the Telegraph in 2011 that he believed he could be better than Wayne Rooney: "So I am thinking I definitely want to try and see what I could do. I think I could step up to the Rooneys, I think I could do well.”

Apparently the sprinter may bring his retirement from athletics forward if he is given a chance to play in United’s first team.

 

9 Now man and man’s best friend can dine together, thanks to Black Dog Ballroom’s new menu for dogs.

The New York-style Northern Quarter diner have taken the phrase ‘dog’s dinner’ to the extreme and created a new menu for hipsters’ pets.

The worst sounding is definitely ‘nachos topped with Pedigree Chum’.

And finally, an announcement we thought was a April Fool’s but is actually real ...

 

10 Former Girls Aloud star Sarah Harding is joining Coronation Street.

The star confirmed the news on Twitter:

The pop star will appear on four episodes during the summer playing a ‘feisty character’ who is going to make life difficult for troublemaker Tracy Barlow.

Sarah, who has previously starred in St Trinians 2: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold, will begin filming her episodes in May.

Producer Stuart Blackburn said: “Sarah is proving to be a gifted and exciting actor and I'm absolutely delighted to have her on board, the viewers are in for a treat as her character will be right at the heart of a massive new story for the Barlows.”

Images (L-R) courtesy of Southport Flower, via YouTube, Graham C99 and Xosé Castro Roig, with thanks