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Make sure the force is with you: MM’s top tips to ensure you’re the chosen one in Manchester’s Star Wars auditions

By Marios Papaloizou

‘You were the chosen one!’ Obi Wan Kenobi bellowed to a screaming Anakin Skywalker at the end of a controversial and divisive trilogy of films that has had fans arguing for almost a decade.

For many die hard Star Wars fans Hayden Christensen was certainly not the chosen one and the prequel trilogy ruined one of the greatest and most iconic series of films in the history of cinema.

With JJ.Abrams set to reboot the saga and, with open auditions taking place in Manchester this weekend to unearth the next Han Solo, how can Mancunians secure their role in cinematic history and avoid the backlash of swathes of committed fans?

So here at MM we give our top tips on how to make sure they’re swinging a lightsaber next year.

1.) Don’t be ugly – There aren’t many industries in the world that can get away with only hiring those that are blessed with good looks let alone advertising it!

Unfortunately for most of us the lead roles in the new Star Wars films are reserved for a ‘beautiful’ woman and a ‘handsome’ man – or so says the casting call.

Beauty is of course in the eye of the beholder but it does seem that when the beholder is a Hollywood casting director it wouldn’t be hard to take a pretty good guess at what the ‘chosen ones’ will look like.

2.) Don’t be fat – Personally I could think of nothing more entertaining to watch on screen than a heavy set gent of lady somersaulting around killing off baddies with elaborate strokes of a glowing stick.

However, the power that be have decreed that the lucky pair must be ‘athletic’.

So Manchester you have about 24 hours to suck in those guts and get fit enough for a galactic adventure.

3.) Don’t be dumb – With the casting sheet calling for both characters to be ‘smart’ tomorrows queue should be full of the best looking, fittest and brightest people that the city has to offer; however, something tells me that this might not be the case.

With thousands turning up for the casting in Bristol and thousands more expected tomorrow there is only one question that needs to be asked.

Where the hell are all these beautiful, smart and athletic people on a Friday night in Manchester city centre?

Image courtesy of 20th Century Fox via YouTube, with thanks

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