November Movember… it’s ‘tache time

by Will Metcalfe

CHANCES are men reading this will have considered growing a moustache at some point. Some of you may well be contemplating it as you read this, and this month is your chance.

Movember runs in partnership with the Prostate Cancer Charity and aims to raise awareness of prostate cancer and other issues affecting men’s health.

So far the event has raised more than £30 million worldwide for the disease since the campaign began in 2003; £14 million was raised last year alone.

Around 32,000 men are diagnosed with prostate cancer and according to Macmillan Cancer Support 1 in 6 men will have the disease in their lifetime.

At this point we decided to host our own mo-down. Despite never growing anything that could, even generously, be described as a mo’ I’ve put my razor on the shelf and gone for it.

Along with Joe, Jon and Chick we’ll be keeping you up to date with our facial farce over the next month whilst hopefully raising some funds for the Prostate Cancer Charity and raising awareness about a really nasty disease.

If you like the sound of this get on it here:


Ok, so I’m clean shaven and ready to get on this. To get myself into the spirit I’ve inadvertently left my razor in Liverpool so things might be a bit messy for the first week or so, not that I expect much. Maybe by week two I’ll have a grey upper lip…

Despite the ridiculousness of it I’m secretly looking forward to this. I’d never attempt facial hair at this stage if it wasn’t for Movember so I’m getting a little something for myself. So then, clean shaven: check, documentary evidence: check.

Let’s do this!


Ok, so now I’m starting to look a little rough around the edges. The mo’ hair I grow the better, just not if it makes me look like a tramp. In an attempt to play the mo’ down I’ve dug deep into the checked shirts, hey this isn’t pre-pubescent…it’s a lifestyle choice, type thing. But I’m not as skinny as the bum-fluff sporting hipsters and there’s no way I’d be seen dead in 80s ‘sneakers’.

Still, I’m not getting strange looks in the street so maybe it’s not as ‘bad’ as I thought…

DAY 13

As you can see the fuzz is quite noticeable by now and, to my surprise it doesn’t look too bad.

All right, so I’m not sporting a Tom Selleck style mo’, but I am looking vaguely more masculine than this last

One thing I’ve noticed it that the more you touch the mo’, the more it itches, so naturally it’s hard not to touch it.

The easy solution would be to leave it well alone but that’s easier said than done. And like having a mouth ulcer, I found myself unable to stop rubbing the hair under my chin, I tried to soothe but it’s just sore.

It’s getting to the point that I will definitely have to shave, and I’m not quite sure what to do. The rules say that the mo’ has to be separate from any surrounding facial hair, giving me two options:

1)    I either let it grow and keep shaving a definite gap
2)    I throw caution to the wind and go for the full on Stalin look.

Answers on a postcard please…

DAY 16

I saw my sister yesterday; she took one look at my face and laughed. So, what’s wrong? “It’s…that”, she said, pointing at my mo’/beard combo.

So while I’m sacrificing my self-respect, my family it would seem, are sniggering at my efforts. No surprises there then.

There is still a definite separation between beard and mo’ so as of yet I don’t have to shave. To be honest, I’m wondering if I should forsake the rules and put £20 in myself for the privilege, or would that defy the point? I guess it’s called Movember after all.

14 days left now and I really am quite excited at the prospect of maybe having a full beard by the 30th, one question: What happens if I
don’t want to shave?

Twitter: @reverendwill

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