Life

Meet Doomsday Preppers: Our guns, escape routes and plans to survive end of time will outwit NASA and mankind

By John Paul Shammas

With Christmas just around the corner, these next few days are pretty busy and stressful for everyone. 

There’s the manic last minute shopping, the office parties, the hangovers, the inevitably mediocre panto – oh and on Friday, if the Mayans are to be believed, the world is ending and we are all going to die. 

Meet Glenn. He’s just a 56-year-old Floridian who, like me and you, wouldn’t mind surviving a little past December 21. But, unlike me and you, he’s got a plan. Why? 

Because he’s a Doomsday Prepper.

Fortune favours the prepared and, when the inevitable happens this Friday and the world becomes a hellish, apocalyptic Mad Max landscape dominated by gangs scavenging for the few remaining supplies, Glenn is going to be armed and ready.

“Armed people will be coming at you,” he told MM. “So that’s why I got an automatic.”

Yes, you read it right. In the past few days, Glenn has gone out and purchased a 9mm pistol as he believes the end of time is nigh. 

Now, when the bad guys are coming to steal his supplies, what’s Glenn going to do?

“I will rattle off a couple of shots in a heartbeat and scare people off,” the man with a plan, if ever there was one, discloses.

Extreme? Well, obviously. But Glenn isn’t alone. 

Ahead of tomorrow’s Armageddon, prepping has encouraged many other people to, for all intents and purposes, attempt to become the next Rambo. 

Take Craig Clydesdale for example, a 45-year-old Californian who has been prepping since he was a teenager. 

For Craig, the reasons for prepping have always been about protecting himself and those he cares about from pretty much anything.  Earthquakes, electromagnetic pulses and, presently, a Barrack Obama second term – he’s covering all bases.

“I need to do all I can to ensure my family has every possible chance to survive,” he said. 

“For me, the act of prepping entails a simple plan. I have three categories, what do I need, what do I want, and what can I carry.”

So, food and water are stocked at all times, an escape plan is always at hand and routinely practised, and although like anyone the Preppers hope for the best, they expect the worst. 

You see, Preppers have been stepping up their game recently ahead of tomorrow, when a planetary alignment will shift Earth off its axis and lo and behold, the world as we know it will cease to exist.

The kill-joys down at NASA, however, are not having any of it.

“The world will not end in 2012,” they said recently in a bid to ease people’s concerns.

“Our planet has been getting along just fine for more than four billion years and credible scientists worldwide know of no threat associated with 2012.”

But mankind’s smartest men and women are all only human. Humans make mistakes. But Preppers leave no room for error and in less than 24 hours’ time those lucky enough to survive the end of time will have a particularly unusual Christmas to look forward to.

Picture courtesy of Fdlty, with thanks

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