Manchester not ready for a zombie invasion, admits council

By Barrie White

If zombies attacked Manchester tomorrow, the City Council has admitted that there are no plans on how to stop lurching, blood-thirsty re-activated corpses, with body parts all over the place.

After Leicester City Council trended on Twitter last week – following a strange Freedom of Information request – because they had to announce that they would not cope with a zombie invasion, Mancunian Matters quizzed the council on their own plans.

But a spokesman said: “You can guess that we have nothing.  I don’t think we have got any plans for that.”

Concerned citizen Haroon Mushtaq, 29, says there are guides to survival and offered tips to people who want to survive a Zombie invasion.

Haroon – who manages co-manages specialist comic shop Travelling Man on Dale Street – said:

“We do have Zombie survival kits that do contain quarantine tape, toe-tags and advice on how to dispose of the bodies.  We have Zombie survival guides which tell you what to do in the case of an outbreak.

He also offered this sage advice to anyone wanting to know how to fend off an attack:

“Bats don’t need reloading.”

If you do want to be prepared for a Zombie invasion of Manchester, there is a Zombie Survival Kit available from Travelling Man for £22 and a guidebook for £10.50.

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