One-on-one messaging has its advantages with online dating, but sometimes logging onto a chat room is the best way to make a connection.
You have your pick of the most appealing and flirtatious users, you can get an impression of someone before you dive into the conversation, and if you’re in a gay or lesbian chat, there’s no need for that awkward question of if you share sexuality.
But you don’t want to be just another faceless person in the crowd, one ignored, overlooked, or worse – found boring. You want to be charming, getting attention and making a great first impression.
However, unlike a bar or nightclub, you don’t have the advantage of showing off your physical attractiveness or adding that flirty tone to your voice. All you have is your words.
So what do you need to stand out in a dating chat room?
Don’t reveal everything at once
No one wants to read a biography or a dull read-out of who you are; they want to know what makes you unique and exciting.
Feel free to share details about yourself, but don’t offer up everything at once. Bleed information about your past, job, hobbies, and interests slowly into conversation, and always use them as jump-off points to ask questions about the other person or to expand into a new topic of conversation.
This will make you personable, intriguing, and most importantly, by not sharing everything, you’re mysterious.
Chatting online lets you put your best foot forward, but most importantly, it should be your best foot. Not some online persona you create to make yourself appear as something you’re not.
You would hate to find someone is completely different offline than they said they were online, so don’t do that in return.
Instead, answer questions honestly and don’t fudge your hobbies or interests just to impress someone. This authenticity will come across strongly even when you’re communicating solely through text, making you stand out from other users that may seem a little iffy.
Be flirty but polite
The most fun aspect of dating chat rooms is the flirting, so don’t forget to put on your charm. Compliment the person you’re talking with; mention something from their profile that you found clever, cute, or interesting; throw in a few winking emoticons to get their attention.
After all, if you’re telling them they’re pretty or intriguing, you’re going to garter far more attention than the person who can only engage in small talk. But most of all, never forget this one thing: keep it polite.
Comments that are crass, overly sexual, vulgar, or too forward will only come across as both rude and threatening. This will make you stand apart, but only as someone to be avoided. Always aim to be charming, not extreme.
Keep the topics flowing
One word responses won’t get you far, even if they are the first response you think of. If you let the topics peter out, then it will make you see uninterested or even worse – boring.
To stand out from the host of other users who are trucking along with dull half-conversations, have a list of topics you can bring up when one dies out, or become skillful in coming up with trains of thought based off tiny details revealed earlier in your online conversation.
This will allow you to avoid stagnated chats and more importantly, show you as conversational, clever, and interested.
Nothing is a greater selling point than a person that can make you laugh. Be that person. While you don’t have your pretty face to catch attention, people are automatically attracted to a great sense of humor, so work in some jokes, funny expressions, a quirky perspective, and even a little sarcasm.
This will not only keep the conversation going, but it will paint all your other comments in a brighter light.
Be a little more expressive
Since you can’t add a tone of voice to your message, be aware that a line of text may not give the connotations you want. If you were to stay “hi” in a nightclub, your body language, voice, expression, and gestures could work to immediately project subtext.
When typing, be sure to type more expressively, adding emoticons to show you’re smiling or winking, exclamation points to show enthusiasm, or even add a few sentences afterwards to expand on that subtext that isn’t subtly being projected.
It’s hard to stand out from a crowd when your only discernible feature is your sentence structure.
But if you play your cards right, you can not only make a lasting and real impression – you can show your most authentic, funny, interesting, and charming self the right time and the first time.