Hyde FC finally go Hollywood: Even Sylvester Stallone, Tom Hanks and a pornstar can’t help Tigers beat Burnley

Hyde FC boasted an uncannily star-studded side for last night’s home friendly against Burnley – with Sylvester Stallone, Tom Hanks and even a pornstar donning their shinpads and having a kickabout.

The Skrill Conference North club went viral after a string of left-wing revolutionaries like Tony Blair, Karl Marx and Mahatma Gandhi led them to a 5-4 penalties victory over local rivals Altrincham on Saturday after drawing 2-2 in normal time.

The trick was repeated for last night’s 3-2 defeat to the Premier League new boys at Ewen Fields when names of male megastars were used to mask the identity of trialists on the club’s Twitter feed.

Pop star George Michael, film favourites Stallone, Hanks, Humphrey Bogart and Clark Gable as well as fictional spy Austin Powers – and even porn star Ron Jeremy – all were on display.

And predictably the match updates for Hyde fans started – and finished – with porn legend Ron.

The Tameside club gave the Clarets the runaround in the first-half and were 2-0 up at the break with Patrick Swayze starring and an Oscar-worthy display from the rest of the side.

After the break, manager Scott McGivern gave cameos to other Hollywood heavyweights like Stallone, Harrison Ford and Roy Schneider as he auditioned new starlets for Hyde’s attempts to bounce back to the Skrill Conference National.

As the match began to turn against them, Rocky refused to be beaten and threatened a comeback.

But despite the fresh legs the second act did not go to plan and Sean Dyche’s men completed a turnaround with three goals after the break to grab the win before the credits rolled.

And one player took it particularly to heart as the Tigers’ chances had soon Gone with the Wind.

Regular tweeter Tom Marsland hit the headlines at the weekend with his own distinctive take on Hyde’s unique live update service with left-wing revolutionaries dictating the play against Altrincham.

The Labour Party member was absent for the Burnley clash, but certainly led the way on Hyde’s Twitter feed. Take note Ed Miliband.

Blair came in for some stick and struggled to earn his stripes – it remains to be seen if he’ll be penning a deal with the Tigers.

The cobbled together side may have been strong on the left wing – but it still took a tense sudden-death penalty win to separate the two sides.

Next up for Hyde is Droylsden in the Tony Downes Memorial Trophy at the weekend before they kick-off their league campaign at home to Oxford City on August 9.

Hyde image courtesy of SteHLiverpool, Sylvester Stallone image courtesy of Gage Skidmore, with thanks.

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